Millions of Americans keep this dirty secret from their partner

: Category: Economics; Published: 20 February 2019

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One in 5 people in a new survey say financial infidelity is actually worse than physical infidelity.

Love & Money ^[1] is a MarketWatch series looking at how our relationship with money impacts our relationships with significant others, friends and family.

Nearly 20% of people are keeping a savings, credit-card or checking account hidden from their live-in partner, according to a survey released this week by CreditCards.com ^[2]. The company polled 1,000 adults, including 636 who are currently married or living with a partner.

Millennials (ages 18 to 37) are twice as likely to say they’re hiding a bank or credit-card account from their partner (28% versus 15%). Other more common offenders are people in the South (22%) and West (21%), compared to those in the Northeast (16%) and Midwest (12%).

More than half of people who live with their partner say keeping a secret bank or credit-card account is as bad as actually cheating on someone.

More than half (55%) say keeping a secret account is as bad as actually cheating on someone, and 1 in 5 say it’s worse than physical infidelity. Older people with higher incomes and education levels were more likely to believe that physical cheating is worse.

“Talking about money with your spouse isn’t always easy,” Ted Rossman, CreditCards.com industry analyst, said. “You can still maintain some privacy over your finances, and even keep separate accounts.” But keeping secrets? “Your financial union is doomed to fail,” he said.

The good (and bad) news: Americans who live with their partner are generally confident about their own personal money management skills: 44% percent believe they are a better money manager than their spouse/partner, and just 12% think they’re worse.

Rossman warned against over-confidence, citing statistics about how woefully under-saved many Americans are for emergencies ^[3], retirement ^[4] and even college ^[5]. “If you don’t know where your money is or where it’s going, those already lofty financial goals will become even harder to reach,” he said.

Courtesy of Jamie and Michael

Sometimes, it’s good not to talk. Jamie Brickhouse (left) and Michael Hayes don’t tell each other everything about their finances, but their reliance on trust and respect for each other’s financial freedom has worked so far. They’ve been together for nearly 30 years.

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More than 77% of people consider credit-card debt an unattractive trait in a mate, according to a recent survey released by personal-finance site Finder.com. On average, people say $11,525 in credit-card debt is enough of a red flag to swipe left or walk away from a potential partner....