Dear Moneyist, I am a 34-year-old with a degenerative neurological condition that gives me somewhere between five and 10 years to live. I recently retired on disability from my job and will gross $80,000 a year, 50% of which is tax-free. My wife is a teacher and has a steady career, grossing $68,000 a year. We have no children, and have total savings (retirement and other accounts) of $350,000. We owe $250,000 on a $500,000 home that is in good condition. My life-insurance policy is worth approximately $1 million, and I have minimal health-care costs.
‘While I understand her position, it seems a bit conservative to me and I’m frustrated at her absolute opposition.’
With my limited time left, I want to invest in a new kitchen — both as a gift to my wife and as something positive and new to lift my spirits, since I’m largely confined to our home and spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Given the numbers, I do not see much risk in investing between $50,000 and $75,000 on a new kitchen. My wife, on the other hand, is vehemently opposed to spending any of our savings given my certain demise in the next decade. While I understand her position, it seems a bit conservative to me, and I’m frustrated at her absolute opposition. Any advice would be appreciated. Loving husband in Tacoma, Wash. Dear Husband, Thank you for your letter and for sharing your story. Before I get into the logistics of kitchen costs and house values and savings and financial security, I wanted to say one thing: Whatever is really going on here, it’s not about the kitchen. It’s never just about the kitchen. Whenever I focus on some material issue that I need to change, I try — not always successfully — to remind myself that whatever it is I want to change or improve or purchase represents some other issue that I haven’t quite figured out yet. It may also represent something different to your wife. She may already be living with fear of losing you and life after you’ve gone, and a major change or upheaval could be the last thing she wants right now.
‘Whatever is really going on here, it’s not about the kitchen. It’s never just about the kitchen.’
Reading stories like yours also gives me perspective on my own life. We are the canned beans, and we need others to tell us what’s written on the can! Answering your letter and contemplating your predicament and your relationship helps me, too. Believe it or not, when I am faced with a big decision or I need to advocate for myself on a financial matter and my own emotions get in the way, I ask myself, “What would the Moneyist advise me to do?” Of course, I can’t ask myself, but I ask a... I’m 34 and have 5 to 10 years to live — I want to spend $50K on a new kitchen, but my wife is vehemently opposed
- Category: Economics
Dear Moneyist, I am a 34-year-old with a degenerative neurological condition that gives me somewhere between five and 10 years to live. I recently retired on disability from my job and will gross $80,000 a year, 50% of which is tax-free. My wife is a teacher and has a steady career, grossing $68,000 a year. We have no children, and have total savings (retirement and other accounts) of $350,000. We owe $250,000 on a $500,000 home that is in good condition. My life-insurance policy is worth approximately $1 million, and I have minimal health-care costs.
‘While I understand her position, it seems a bit conservative to me and I’m frustrated at her absolute opposition.’
With my limited time left, I want to invest in a new kitchen — both as a gift to my wife and as something positive and new to lift my spirits, since I’m largely confined to our home and spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Given the numbers, I do not see much risk in investing between $50,000 and $75,000 on a new kitchen. My wife, on the other hand, is vehemently opposed to spending any of our savings given my certain demise in the next decade. While I understand her position, it seems a bit conservative to me, and I’m frustrated at her absolute opposition. Any advice would be appreciated. Loving husband in Tacoma, Wash. Dear Husband, Thank you for your letter and for sharing your story. Before I get into the logistics of kitchen costs and house values and savings and financial security, I wanted to say one thing: Whatever is really going on here, it’s not about the kitchen. It’s never just about the kitchen. Whenever I focus on some material issue that I need to change, I try — not always successfully — to remind myself that whatever it is I want to change or improve or purchase represents some other issue that I haven’t quite figured out yet. It may also represent something different to your wife. She may already be living with fear of losing you and life after you’ve gone, and a major change or upheaval could be the last thing she wants right now.
‘Whatever is really going on here, it’s not about the kitchen. It’s never just about the kitchen.’
Reading stories like yours also gives me perspective on my own life. We are the canned beans, and we need others to tell us what’s written on the can! Answering your letter and contemplating your predicament and your relationship helps me, too. Believe it or not, when I am faced with a big decision or I need to advocate for myself on a financial matter and my own emotions get in the way, I ask myself, “What would the Moneyist advise me to do?” Of course, I can’t ask myself, but I ask a...