Dear Moneyist, Last year, my husband and I divorced after nearly 25 years of marriage. We had been separated for many years prior to the divorce. We have a very nice 22-year-old son who is a senior in college. We all live in New York, although my son might move elsewhere after college. My ex-husband has always been terrible with money. He wasn’t able to pay his half of our son’s college tuition and decided to take out parental student loans. One year, he borrowed from his retirement account. He owes the Internal Revenue Service $150,000 in back taxes. He can’t afford to contribute to my son’s living expenses, so I pay for everything. Don’t miss: My husband’s two children would toss me out of the house if he were to die before me — what can I do?[1] A few months ago, my ex-husband, 70, married a woman 40 years his junior and had to borrow money from family members to pay his portion of the wedding and buy her a wedding ring. Even though he’s deeply in debt and can barely pay his rent, he’s discussing the possibility of having additional children with his new bride. She’s a student in law school and my ex-husband is a lawyer/college professor. So here’s my problem. I want my son to inherit my entire estate, which is valued at about $1 million. But my biggest fear is that, if I die before my ex-husband, he will find a way to take my son’s inheritance. My son is very mild mannered and has never been able to stand up to his father, who is domineering and arrogant. If my ex-husband asks our son for money to help with his new family and future children, my son would be afraid to say “no.” How can I structure a will so that my ex-husband can’t get his hands on my son’s inheritance?Ex-Wife, Concerned Mother Dear Ex-Wife, As we say in the journalism business, you buried the lede. This charming fellow is not your problem anymore. He is somebody else’s affair. He can work his academic charm to get what he wants from his new wife, family or friends, but it won’t work on you anymore. He may or may not have more success there. This was a red wedding to end all red weddings: Borrowing money to pay for his wedding, owing the IRS $150,000 in back taxes, struggling to pay his rent and all the rest of this puffery and nonsense are all red flags. You are home free and, with a little help from an estate-planner, so is your son. You are doing the right thing: Planning ahead and anticipating your ex-husband’s behavior based on his past actions. Also see: Why Jennifer Aniston declined my ‘Friends’ request[2] You can put money into a trust fund for your son’s education, his children’s... My ex-husband borrowed money to marry a woman 40 years his junior — how do I protect my son’s $1M estate?
- Category: Economics
Dear Moneyist, Last year, my husband and I divorced after nearly 25 years of marriage. We had been separated for many years prior to the divorce. We have a very nice 22-year-old son who is a senior in college. We all live in New York, although my son might move elsewhere after college. My ex-husband has always been terrible with money. He wasn’t able to pay his half of our son’s college tuition and decided to take out parental student loans. One year, he borrowed from his retirement account. He owes the Internal Revenue Service $150,000 in back taxes. He can’t afford to contribute to my son’s living expenses, so I pay for everything. Don’t miss: My husband’s two children would toss me out of the house if he were to die before me — what can I do?[1] A few months ago, my ex-husband, 70, married a woman 40 years his junior and had to borrow money from family members to pay his portion of the wedding and buy her a wedding ring. Even though he’s deeply in debt and can barely pay his rent, he’s discussing the possibility of having additional children with his new bride. She’s a student in law school and my ex-husband is a lawyer/college professor. So here’s my problem. I want my son to inherit my entire estate, which is valued at about $1 million. But my biggest fear is that, if I die before my ex-husband, he will find a way to take my son’s inheritance. My son is very mild mannered and has never been able to stand up to his father, who is domineering and arrogant. If my ex-husband asks our son for money to help with his new family and future children, my son would be afraid to say “no.” How can I structure a will so that my ex-husband can’t get his hands on my son’s inheritance?Ex-Wife, Concerned Mother Dear Ex-Wife, As we say in the journalism business, you buried the lede. This charming fellow is not your problem anymore. He is somebody else’s affair. He can work his academic charm to get what he wants from his new wife, family or friends, but it won’t work on you anymore. He may or may not have more success there. This was a red wedding to end all red weddings: Borrowing money to pay for his wedding, owing the IRS $150,000 in back taxes, struggling to pay his rent and all the rest of this puffery and nonsense are all red flags. You are home free and, with a little help from an estate-planner, so is your son. You are doing the right thing: Planning ahead and anticipating your ex-husband’s behavior based on his past actions. Also see: Why Jennifer Aniston declined my ‘Friends’ request[2] You can put money into a trust fund for your son’s education, his children’s...