Dear Moneyist, I live with my 65-year-old widowed mother and my two adolescent daughters, who are 11 and 13 years old. My father gave me half of the ownership of the house when he died. My mom is dating a 75-year-old man who lives nearby at a retirement home. My youngest daughter told me that mom’s boyfriend had made repeated sexual comments to them. She said he has never touched them. I told my mom that he is banned from coming over at the house. She dismissed me as hysterical and said, “That’s just the way men are.” Also see: I discovered through Ancestry.com that my biological father is someone else — can I claim an inheritance as his heir?[1] She continues to invite him over. My daughters are so creeped out by his behavior that they often leave when he is around. If I buy her out, she would be homeless or stuck in a retirement home. If I leave, my daughters would lose out on the great public schools and neighborhood. What should I do? A Mother Feeling Trapped Dear Mother, If your mother is old enough to have a boyfriend, raise a child and bury a husband, she is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, and I’m sorry that these were the values you were raised with. Parents teach their children how to behave and act by word and deed. It’s an awesome responsibility. Contact the retirement home and raise the issue that he has said some strangely inappropriate things and you are flagging this in the event that he has the early stages of dementia. One symptom can involve inappropriate sexual behavior. “It can cause considerable distress and put placements and people at risk,” according to the journal Current Treatment Options in Neurology[2]. Also see: ‘We’re in a happier place now!’ My husband wrote a secret will when our marriage was rocky — should I now write one too?[3] Back to you and your family: You gave me two options. Door No. 1: buy her out. Door No. 2: find a new place to live. Whether you realize it or not, you chose Door No. 3. There is no new home for you and your daughters behind Door No. 3 and nor is there a house where they feel safe. Behind Door No. 3 lies an empty room with no windows. It is a place where nothing gets done. You have, whether you realize it or not, chosen inaction in the face of a man who makes your children feel uncomfortable in their home. You risk them being exposed to more aggressive sexual harassment or, worse, physical molestation. That’s not the responsibility of your mother. It’s not even the responsibility of her friend. This responsibility lies with you.Show your... I live with my mother. Her boyfriend, 75, made sexual comments to my daughter. My mom still invites him over and said, ‘That’s just the way men are’
- Category: Economics
Dear Moneyist, I live with my 65-year-old widowed mother and my two adolescent daughters, who are 11 and 13 years old. My father gave me half of the ownership of the house when he died. My mom is dating a 75-year-old man who lives nearby at a retirement home. My youngest daughter told me that mom’s boyfriend had made repeated sexual comments to them. She said he has never touched them. I told my mom that he is banned from coming over at the house. She dismissed me as hysterical and said, “That’s just the way men are.” Also see: I discovered through Ancestry.com that my biological father is someone else — can I claim an inheritance as his heir?[1] She continues to invite him over. My daughters are so creeped out by his behavior that they often leave when he is around. If I buy her out, she would be homeless or stuck in a retirement home. If I leave, my daughters would lose out on the great public schools and neighborhood. What should I do? A Mother Feeling Trapped Dear Mother, If your mother is old enough to have a boyfriend, raise a child and bury a husband, she is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, and I’m sorry that these were the values you were raised with. Parents teach their children how to behave and act by word and deed. It’s an awesome responsibility. Contact the retirement home and raise the issue that he has said some strangely inappropriate things and you are flagging this in the event that he has the early stages of dementia. One symptom can involve inappropriate sexual behavior. “It can cause considerable distress and put placements and people at risk,” according to the journal Current Treatment Options in Neurology[2]. Also see: ‘We’re in a happier place now!’ My husband wrote a secret will when our marriage was rocky — should I now write one too?[3] Back to you and your family: You gave me two options. Door No. 1: buy her out. Door No. 2: find a new place to live. Whether you realize it or not, you chose Door No. 3. There is no new home for you and your daughters behind Door No. 3 and nor is there a house where they feel safe. Behind Door No. 3 lies an empty room with no windows. It is a place where nothing gets done. You have, whether you realize it or not, chosen inaction in the face of a man who makes your children feel uncomfortable in their home. You risk them being exposed to more aggressive sexual harassment or, worse, physical molestation. That’s not the responsibility of your mother. It’s not even the responsibility of her friend. This responsibility lies with you.Show your...