Dear Moneyist, My mom is an otherwise sane, smart and independent woman. At 60 years old she has worked for over 40 years, has been a home owner in New Jersey for over 40 years as well and has always been on top of her bills, credit and responsibilities. About 5 years ago she became involved in a relationship with a man who I can only call a con artist. This man has a history of theft, deception, bad credit and bad decisions. He has deceived a few employers and the Internal Revenue Service. He has been living with my mom in her current home, which she owned for about 15 years before they met. He does not pay his share of the bills, often giving her only $100 to $200 a month, but often times borrowing much more than that throughout the month. Read also: We plundered our 401(k) to invest in a friend’s business — now we fear it’s a Ponzi scheme [1] He has made statements to her during arguments such as, “I have a legal right to this house and should be on the deed” and “I legally have 30 to 60 days to leave if you try to kick me out.” I believe both of these statements to be a crock of bull, but I am just curious to know what his true “rights” are. There are other ways he is emotionally abusive as well. He has never changed his residence on his driver’s license to my mom’s house and the only thing connecting him to the property is a cable bill. I am hoping to sort this out on her behalf, as she seems to be blinded from the truth. Since becoming involved with him, her credit has worsened and she seems to be struggling financially. This is not the woman I remember. Daughter Dear Daughter, Your mother may need a financial adviser or an advice columnist to weigh in on her affairs, at some point. Today, she needs an intervention. Even at 60 years of age, she is a prime candidate for elder financial abuse. She is alone and she has money. That’s an attractive combination for a would-be predator. And while most of this kind of abuse comes from family members[2], it also happens disproportionately to people with no spouse. Your mother hasn’t married this man, which is a small mercy. It’s not too late to act. You need to assemble of team of trusted family members and friends, alert your mother’s bank, and hire a lawyer who may decide to do a background check. As a group (and when her boyfriend is out of the house, of course) you should sit down with your mom to explain that you’re all worried about her but that you are there to support her as she severs ties with this man.... My mom, 60, lives with a con artist with a history of theft, deception and bad credit
- Category: Economics
Dear Moneyist, My mom is an otherwise sane, smart and independent woman. At 60 years old she has worked for over 40 years, has been a home owner in New Jersey for over 40 years as well and has always been on top of her bills, credit and responsibilities. About 5 years ago she became involved in a relationship with a man who I can only call a con artist. This man has a history of theft, deception, bad credit and bad decisions. He has deceived a few employers and the Internal Revenue Service. He has been living with my mom in her current home, which she owned for about 15 years before they met. He does not pay his share of the bills, often giving her only $100 to $200 a month, but often times borrowing much more than that throughout the month. Read also: We plundered our 401(k) to invest in a friend’s business — now we fear it’s a Ponzi scheme [1] He has made statements to her during arguments such as, “I have a legal right to this house and should be on the deed” and “I legally have 30 to 60 days to leave if you try to kick me out.” I believe both of these statements to be a crock of bull, but I am just curious to know what his true “rights” are. There are other ways he is emotionally abusive as well. He has never changed his residence on his driver’s license to my mom’s house and the only thing connecting him to the property is a cable bill. I am hoping to sort this out on her behalf, as she seems to be blinded from the truth. Since becoming involved with him, her credit has worsened and she seems to be struggling financially. This is not the woman I remember. Daughter Dear Daughter, Your mother may need a financial adviser or an advice columnist to weigh in on her affairs, at some point. Today, she needs an intervention. Even at 60 years of age, she is a prime candidate for elder financial abuse. She is alone and she has money. That’s an attractive combination for a would-be predator. And while most of this kind of abuse comes from family members[2], it also happens disproportionately to people with no spouse. Your mother hasn’t married this man, which is a small mercy. It’s not too late to act. You need to assemble of team of trusted family members and friends, alert your mother’s bank, and hire a lawyer who may decide to do a background check. As a group (and when her boyfriend is out of the house, of course) you should sit down with your mom to explain that you’re all worried about her but that you are there to support her as she severs ties with this man....